Why Bad for Those Good?

Recently, I was asked a tough question by my daughter's friend, who is like a child of my own. I have known this girl for about 10 years now, and have watched her grow and mature, seeking her purpose in life, while always wondering about God's will for her as well. We were driving to lunch, singing to the tunes on the radio and acting silly, and out of the blue she asked me why I thought bad things happened to good people. It's really an age old question...one that is asked by all people, whether they be teens beginning to discover the conundrums of adulthood, or by senior citizens reflecting back upon a lifetime of tangled webs. Why does God allow bad things to happen to good people?

I thought about it a minute and my first inclination was to make some type of lame joke or deflect the question with a quick-fix, glib answer, and get back to singing songs and having fun. But then it occurred to me that this girl must be struggling with something and she needed some type of answer. I felt honored that she would seek my opinion on the matter, and a burden to do my best to answer in a helpful way. So I went from singing fake opera, to murmuring a quick prayer, and offered her an answer she could think and pray about.

"Well", I began, "does God really let bad things happen to good people?" I mean, we can agree there is bad in the world, it is called sin. We know that there is sin in the world because man made the decision long ago to disobey God, and as a result of sin, bad things happen. But are there really good people? Sure we like to think we are good, that basically people have a bent toward goodness. We know that people like to think that because they haven't committed some horrible act like rape or robbery, abortion or adultery, that if they follow all the rules, for the most part, and aren't finding themselves on the wrong side of the law, that they are good. In fact, people like to put more qualifications on goodness...if they help the poor, feed the homeless, practice some kind of spirituality, do a good deed now and then, or go on a mission trip...then they should never have to suffer illness, tragedy, and even to some extent, death before a certain age (funny how that age gets farther and farther out the older they get, too). To our way of thinking, that sounds fair.

However, a sin is a sin is a sin. In God's eyes, someone's white lie, is no worse than someone else's murder, someone's drug addiction, someone's defiance, or someone else's gossip; the list is endless. Actually, to the one True, Holy, and Perfect God, all of those sins are equally egregious and they all stem from the one and only sin that He cannot and will not tolerate. This sin is so evil, that we learn in Isaiah 14:12-18, that it was the cause for the removal of God's best angel, Lucifer, from his heavenly realm. Lucifer or Satan, was known as the highest, most beautiful, and wisest angel, the Star of the Morning, who became so enthralled with himself that he began his plot to place his throne above God's and to become god. Satan's sin, "the sin", is the sin of pride.

Yes, I believe all sins can be traced back to that of pride. Pride is defined in the dictionary as "a high or inordinate opinion of one's own dignity, importance, merit, or superiority, whether as cherished in the mind or as displayed in bearing or conduct." God's definition of pride is the act of putting ourselves, our comfort, our desires, our importance above Him. In essence it is idolatry, because we are making ourselves the god of our life, instead of Him. It's our will be done, not His. In our desire to hold on to our high opinion of ourselves, we commit many sins, large and small, and we commit them often. Sins that, we rationalize as necessary and for the most part, consider inconsequential in the grand scheme of things.

"So", I offered, "if we all are sinners as defined by God, then the question becomes, are there really good people that bad things happen to?" Ouch, that kind of stings, when you really think about it. I mean, we really don't like to think that harshly of ourselves. My point then is that sin causes terrible consequences to befall us. Whether it is a consequence of our own sinful action, or collateral damage from the sins of those around us, it causes pain and suffering. It even causes sickness, because our bodies are deteriorating and affected by the collective sins of modern man. Those sins that have created havoc with nature and our environment and have introduced disease and dilemma into our lives.

Do I think God targets good people with bad things? Absolutely not! Does God allow sin to take its course in the lives of people. Yes! But does sin have the final victory if we have put our faith in the death and resurrection of Jesus? No! By confessing our sins and giving our lives over to the will of God, we have presented our blame to Him, acknowledged our failings, and allowed God to enact His plan for those bad things, and work them out for good. This He promises in Romans 8:28, which says, "we know in all things God works for the good of those that love him, who have been called according to his purpose".  And if we take notice, usually in hindsight, we can see that some form of good can be found. Moreover, we will likely find that our character has been refined and made stronger through the ordeal. In the end, the "good" may not take the form we, in our limited perspective would choose, but it is the wisest and best from an eternal perspective, because it was worked through His hands and for His purpose.

A perfect metaphor of this very concept, came to me last year, on our trip to Hawaii, during our visit to the USS Arizona Memorial. The Arizona was the ship that was bombed by the Japanese, that early morning on December 7, 1941. The event that became the catalyst that pulled the United States into World War II. As we stood on deck of the of the Memorial, and as I was thinking of the entombed soldiers under my feet, with the smell of diesel fuel thick in the air.....for fuel still bleeds from that 62 year old wound....a thought occurred to me. The ship is a metaphor for a life of faith and an example of the Romans 8:28 verse. The Japanese thought they had destroyed the battleship and from all appearances that day, it seemed true. However, when the smoke cleared our soldiers pulled together, used what parts they could salvage from the ship, and began a rapid defense and plan of attack. The Japanese had not fully removed the American presence in that part of the Pacific theater and the loss of life only strengthened the resolve of our men. And after the endurance of much time and suffering, in the end, good defeated evil. The ship, while appearing lost, not only ended up saving lives then, but is now covered with living coral and a renewed purpose today. Yes, good was worked from bad and for a higher purpose.

So just as we may not understand our situation or things seem irreversibly damaged and lost, even if we still bear the scars, and even when the struggle is lengthy and seemingly endless, we must remember to remain faithful. And even if by our standards or the world's standards, we are good, and bad things happen to us, it is paramount, that we reflect not on the unfairness of our situation, but remember that we are not perfect, we are not "good" people that bad things happen to. We know this because Romans 3:23 tells us that all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God.

We need to remember and take comfort in the fact that despite our imperfection, that God will work through our bad circumstances for His good. And upon further reflection, I will take His good over mine, any day!

The Pursuit of Happiness

I have been thinking a lot about happiness. I am not alone either. The culture tells us it is our right to be happy. It seems that everything we do is for the sake of making us happy. We fill our spare time in things that make us happy. We buy things, we find jobs, we take trips, we choose relationships that make us happy. Even our own country’s founders knew that the human condition is one predisposed to the pursuit of happiness. What is happiness and what is the secret to happiness in life? Happiness is defined as, "the state contentment, pleasure, and joy". I have noticed that worldly happiness is the one virtue that all seem to agree is mandatory in this life. Even the miserable or mundane tasks are somehow expected to be enhanced, so that they give us joy or meaning and if they don't we just won't do them. We will hire those things out, or give them to someone else to do. Life has become the meaningless pursuit of an elusive goal....happiness.

It is elusive because it is a paradox; we think we will find worldly happiness by the act of filling our worldly emptiness, yet in reality it is in true emptiness that we find true happiness. Worldly emptiness is the purposeful pursuit of those things that numb the afflictions of pain, loneliness, and longing; the things we all feel because we live in a fallen world. Worldly emptiness is a human condition. We can be assured that if we are feeling it, others are too.  We try to numb those afflictions in order to find worldly contentment.   If we decided to sacrifice our worldly contentment we would find ourselves in a state of true emptiness, a place where we actually experience those afflictions. And if in this state we all reached out in faith, beyond our insecurities and pride to others, gave love, kindness, friendship, and selflessness, we would find that by our pouring out, we are filled up, for true happiness is the by-product of love.

It truly is that simple. Remaining in true emptiness is sacrifice, sacrifice is love, love is true happiness. Our Lord and Savior, Jesus, proved that concept. He loved, He sacrificed, and in His emptiness, He gave us His Joy. One of my favorite passages in the Bible is Philippians 2:1-4 , which says, "Therefore if you have any encouragement from being united with Christ, if any comfort from his love, if any common sharing in the Spirit, if any tenderness and compassion, then make my joy complete by being like-minded, having the same love, being one in spirit and of one mind. Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves, not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests of the others. I think those verses sum it up nicely. We are to live Christ-like, in faith, accepting His Love, His Sacrifice, and living by His Spirit in pouring ourselves out to fill others up, then we will have His Joy, not worldly happiness, but His Joy.

I have been thinking a lot about happiness and the secret to life. It occurred to me that we need a whole new outlook, that we've been going at it from the wrong direction. Instead of living for the pursuit of happiness, we should live for the pursuit of emptiness.

The Passport

My friend is on a journey through the Valley of the Shadow of Death and I have the privilege of holding her hand.  She has been on her way now for several years, but it's not like a normal trip, where one relishes in the planning of the journey or the anticipation upon arriving at the destination. There is not the excitement in sharing details of the itinerary and all the exploits that are going to take place.  But oh is there baggage for this trip, and lots of it.  There is the large trunk of guilt and regret, the duffels of bitterness and anger, the tote of fear, the backpack of vanities, and the satchel of sweet memories.

 I met my friend 8 years ago, when we moved into our house.  She is my neighbor.  I have to say that for the first 3 months I never knew who she was.  My mother was dying in a hospital 30 miles away, and I was spending all of my days with her, while my husband and his dad handled the details at home.  I had only seen her out taking her walks, as I was on my way in or out of the neighborhood.  After my mom died, I was numb and my heart was cold and I didn’t want to meet her or anyone else for that matter, so I put my head down and carried out the responsibilities that come with running a household and family.  But as the days and months wore on, as the wound healed, and the ice began to melt around my heart, I slowly began to come around and make the effort to bloom where I had been planted.  So by the time my friend was diagnosed with her cancer, four years of life had passed and she had become an important person to our family.  She became a surrogate grandma to the kids and a bit of a mother figure to me.  There is something special about having a friend who is older and more mature than you.  She sees you with the wisdom of years.  She loves you for who you are and not what you are, or how cool you are, or for your social standing and achievements.  She loves you without the burden of competition or jealousy that sometimes occurs among friends who are in the same station of life. 

Anyway, my friend has cancer, Stage 4 cancer.  It’s in her liver, pelvis, lungs, and stomach.  When she was first diagnosed, the doctors did what doctors do....ordered tests, analyzed results, designed a treatment plan, and provided her with a grim prognosis, then led her to her seat, like the conductor of a train….“All aboard for the Valley of the Shadow of Death”.  When she told us about her situation, I prayed that God would spare her, and that He would use me to comfort her and help her in any way that she might need.  He gave me bible verses to calm her; He gave me words to encourage her.  He gave me times of un-busyness, so that I could sit and listen to her vent, or tell stories, or give me the benefit of her life lessons.  And He answered my prayer and the prayers of many others.  Much to everyone’s surprise, especially the doctors’, the tumors had shrunk over half their size after only 3 doses of chemotherapy, and by the end of her treatment, she was for all purposes, in remission.  It seemed that maybe she had been put on the wrong train after all, and off the train she stepped, back into the Land of the Living, back into the day-to-day with all her baggage in hand. 

She’s not alone, it’s baggage we all acquire and joyfully and needlessly carry around.  Yes it is joyfully carried, because we go to great lengths to pack it and unpack it, revel in the misery, share it with others, compare it with others, then repack it only to drag it along and do it all again on down the road .  All the guilt and regret that seems to accumulate when a person finds themselves standing at a new station of life.  The “I should haves” when you find your toddler has somehow become a teenager ready for college, or the “I wish I would haves” when someone close moves away or a friendship ends, or the “I wonders” when a spouse leaves for someone else or things don’t turn out at all the way we planned.  The bitterness and anger that has festered and grown, sometimes invisibly, into the cancer that consumes us along the path, on the journey to the Valley of the Shadow of Death.  The fear and vanities, that prevent us from sharing our love and lives with people on a deeper level.  The pride that precludes us from forgiving the real and not so real hurts that others have inflicted on us.  Yes all that baggage piles up and we cling to it, willingly and purposefully dragging it along as we make our way. 

I’m holding her hand.  It’s been a week now since she went into the hospital and learned the cancer had returned.  She’s endured more tests, sleepless nights, the indignities that come with a hospital stay and the betrayal of a body that is worn out.  She is in that desolate part of the Valley.  The dry, rocky, dreadful place where loneliness and fear grow into oppressive companions.

 I’m holding her hand and she is unpacking her baggage again, but this time it’s something from a different bag that she is rifling through and I can feel hope start to bubble up.  Somewhere in that satchel of sweet memories, she recalls a moment and as she begins reminiscing, the memory becomes a passport of sorts.    It contains an indelible stamp that she received way back, when she met Jesus, received His forgiveness, and accepted His offering of salvation.

 I am holding her hand and we talk about Jesus.  Suddenly the atmosphere changes, and those companions of fear and loneliness aren’t as oppressive.  Suddenly, it becomes painfully obvious that all the other baggage was never necessary.  That all she needed was the Passport. The one with the stamp of Salvation that allows her to be loved and to give love that is purer and deeper and indefinable in our human terms.   The stamp of approval that she never got from the trunks of guilt and regret, or from the duffels of bitterness and anger.  The stamp of conferment that permits her journey to continue through and on past the Valley of the Shadow of Death and into the Gates of Glory; that ensures that the Valley is not the destination after all, but just a rough patch along the way. 

And I am able to sit with her and share this portion of her journey, because I’m on the journey too.  We all are.  This physical cancer is not the only ticket to the Valley of the Shadow of Death.  Our birth is the ticket and we all have the cancer; the cancer that sin conceives.  We were all put on the train and we don’t even realize we are there. The distractions this life offers are bountiful and consuming. Maybe we are traveling through the lush forests of child-rearing and can’t see ahead for all the trees of obligation.  Or maybe we are coasting along the sweet shoreline of peaceful waters where all is good and right with the world and the Valley seems vague and distant.  Or maybe we have had a few brushes, or a brief glimpse of what is to come, as we have rimmed  a deep canyon of catastrophe.  Whether we acknowledge this truth or not, we are on the train.

I’m holding her hand and she is sleeping, something that has eluded her for a week now.  I don’t know how long I have left to share this passage of time and space with her, before we will have to part ways.  But I do know that I don’t want to drag along all the baggage.  I want to keep my satchel of sweet memories, and maybe a few things from my bag of vanities (a girl has to be presentable along the way) and it’s for sure, I’m going to cling to my passport.  It is my assurance of a fruitful journey.  It gives me the liberty of having my hands free to hold the hands of others, my arms and legs unburdened to support or even to carry someone else in their time of weakness, and a mouth free from complaint and protest, yet filled with praises and encouragements, love and acceptance, forgiveness and blessings to share along the way. And when I hear the conductor calling for new destinations, I will rest in the knowledge that my friend and I will meet again at our final destination, the one that required travel through the rugged and forlorn Valley of the Shadow of Death, only to end on the other side of the Gates of Glory.  For now, I have my passport in hand and I’m good to go, how about you?

Psalm 23:4a  Though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I                                         will fear no evil, for You are with me......